Reading from Cries of the Heart, Ravi speaks about the different facets of love that C.S. Lewis points out...this one quote seem to remarkably point to such a deeper understanding of what love is...and the multi-facet nature of it.
"Need-love cries to God from our poverty; Gift-love longs to serve or even suffer for, God; Appreciatve love says: "We give thanks to thee for thy great glory." Need-love says of a woman "I cannot live without her"; Gift-love longs to give her happiness, comfort, protection---if possible, wealth; Appreciative love gazes and holds its breath and is silent, rejoices that such a wonder should exist even if not for him, will not be wholly dejected by losing her, would rather have it so that never to have seen her at all"
Psalm 139:1-6, 13-18, 23-24
1 O LORD, you have searched me
and you know me.
2 You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
3 You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
4 Before a word is on my tongue
you know it completely, O LORD.
5 You hem me in—behind and before;
you have laid your hand upon me.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.
13 For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
16 your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
17 How precious to [b] me are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!
18 Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand.
When I awake,
I am still with you.
23 Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
24 See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.
"God wants us to understand not just the doctrinal fact of His love but also the emotional intensity and the reality of His love. Love is not only a word describing commitment, as vital as that is. It is also a concept that engenders feeling."
I would have to say in the very moments of each day, a reflection of my soul would show a myriad of different emotions and expressions of thought. To each, shows an outworking of my own understanding and thoughts in what I truly believe. I have battled greatly and continue to do so as I try to keep my heart open. In my most failing moments I find myself gravitating towards a desire to uplift the self in my best characteristics and to denounce that for what we had. This expression exalts myself and begets even a greater pride to exist in me. I have found this the most gratifying in the moment, but in reflection I find a greater source of pain stabbing at the core of my soul. My deeper understanding of who Christ is compels me to forego such a selfish act to truly begin to understand the heart and mind of Christ. While at the same time, to curb the hurt and ask for myown wounds to be healed. In this very delicate and daunting task, I am quite perplexed at what I should be doing. I have thought out different options to deal with each varying emotional feeling only to find that in them are only temporarily solutions that numb the hurt inside.
More and more, I have cried to God for wisdom in understanding His will. Through it, my eyes have been opened up to more than I could imagine. This doesn't mean that the battle within doesn't continue but gives hope and encouragement as to the ability He's granted me in learning to be patient. I have found more and more that love in its truest essence brings out the best of who we are as humanity. It goes beyond human rationale and capacity to write such stories and testimonies worthy of praise. I find that in today's society we are too easily pleased. We measure ourselves and one another through a mere 6 digit salary. Or it can be through the lens of physical attractiveness... It is the lie Satan has predisposed our nation to devour. It is no wonder that we live in a nation that is lost and depressed. We have allowed ourselves to be defined by such base things while God has called us to so much more. As I was reading, I was reminded that even my own selfishness is to becasted aside when I am in the presence of the Almighty God. It is through His eyes I have been able to fully understand the truest and purest form of love.
This again brings more security in the path God has laid for me. We do not look at the superficial but at the soul that beats within. It is here that a piece of eternity is given to all of humanity. Although not everyone does express Christ as their Savior, their lives have the potential to show that whether they acknowledge His sacrifice or not. I look to people such a Ghandi or even my father as examples of that. Each person in this world is fashioned by the hands of God. Each person is perfectly made with the Creator's purpose and intent. All the more I shall delight in my own existence as I realize it is the gift of life that has been poured upon me.
This is where I find love in its truest form. As we find the depths of our souls enamored at the beauty of God's creation, it is this emotional experience that dignifies the created and worships the creator.
With this understanding, how can I not like the father of the prodigal son open my arms wide in grace and love? It is in this understanding we find truly God's grace manifested in such beauty that does transcend all understanding. More and more, I find this insight to be valuable into seeing His people and realizing the true essence of life. If by His will, I am able to show others the expression of the eternal in their hearts, perhaps in this the world can be changed. The true problem is that it is often harder to see in those that you do not care so much about. However, once realized, this is truly the beauty of the cross. Often times I thought only that we were to deny ourselves and take up our cross daily as such a grueling and unpleasurable thing. It seems the burden so great, but I remember watching the Passion and watching Christ has He hugged the cross and delighted in carrying the burden. Perhaps the burden placed now is to show people who they truly are. It is arealization that in all of us who profess Christ, that as we die to ourselves, we are truly becoming more ourselves...The ironic twist of it is that we are not made of this world. We are given souls that point to another and bodies that point to this world. Too often we silence the soul and allow the body to live. We must show begin to show people how to express the eternal inside of who they are. I find that those that were able to see this were able to shake and shape the world like no other. In this, the grace so passionately sought out is made complete.
