A Broken Love....

"Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket--safe, dark, motionless, airless--it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable."

I have to say that when it comes to loving, especially after having a broken heart it is so hard to love again. There's a sense of rationale that tells you exactly to do what C.S. Lewis warns us about. I've been there and I've realized that it is much more of an escape from the present reality then an understanding and acknowledgement of God's sovereignty.

Isn't funny how when it just doesn't go your way, you start questioning God? Are you there? What's even more suprising is to realize that there's something deep inside of you that actually encourages those thoughts. It brings justification to whatever you defenses you choose to put up.

There's much I have to say, but one thing I know is that I understand. God has revealed to me how judgemental I am. Superficially, I have masked it in an false-encompassing acceptance of others, but once I see one judgemental person, I burn!!

I am judgemental against judgemental people, I'm unloving towards unloving people, and the list goes on and on. Only in my logical justificatino, does this continue to persist with a self-righteousness. The great unfortunate loss that I have failed to realize but have come to see in reflection is that in each of those attitudes, I only perpetuated each of the qualities in those that I pressed upon them. How foolish the human heart can be?! It is a fair warning to express that the Word of God is needed to correct my thinking and to put me back into a place where I can be used to reconcile this world to Christ instead of alienating it even further to destruction.

Why has God put such an onus on us who seem so incapable? I would have to reply, "Ask Him?", but in my own ability to conjecture, the acknowledgement of truth in the statements above about our influence upon those we're surrounded by gives us a glimpse to the ultimate logic that says if we who are so prone to do such things are capable to overcome to be Christ, then how much more will the world glorify Him?

For the ease of God to do such things seems well...Godly, but for the unGodly to be Godly and for the angry to be loving and for the hurtful to be renewed is a demonstration of a greater power which ultimately points to the power that enables us.

I believe healing starts at the cross and at the cross begins the healing. For the path to the cross is the acknowledgement that we need Him and He is able. Any other sense of healing and forgiveness will be felt, but I feel will be shortchanged, b/c Christ is love, and anything else is selling ourselves short of the love that can be experiencing in healing and in life itself.