Difficulties...

Sanctus Real - I'm Not Alright
If weakness is a wound that no one wants to speak of,
Then cool is just how far we have to fall
I am not immune-I only wanna be loved
But I feel safe behind the firewall
Can I lose my need to impress?
If you want the truth, I need to confess

I'm not alright
I'm broken inside, broken inside
And all I go through
It leads me to you, it leads me to you

Burn away the pride, bring me to my weakness
Until everything I hide behind is gone
and when I'm open wide with nothing left to cling to
only you are there to lead me on
Because honestly, I'm not that strong

I'm not alright - I'm broken inside, broken inside
and all i go through - it leads me to you, it leads me to you

God, I'm at a point where I've had enough. I'm tired of this...tired of my heart going in roller coasters. What am I suppose to do from here? Do I continue to go on? For what reason, I feel that I'm just being used. Am I just an object that spurns hope into her heart, or does she really see me for who I am. I know that right now, I am but an object....and that hurts. She doesn't see me for who I am, only for what I represent. I am an ear to listen, a person to care through this struggle that she is going through...and its this crappy feeling that it is about her and she doesn't take much consideration of me.

Should I subject myself to this? My tendency is to cut and run. I can already feel the walls closing in on my heart, the defenses are being raised, and my heart wants to grow cold.

God change my heart to learn to respond correctly to such situations or change my heart so I can walk away from all of this. Either way, I submit it to you. I'm tired....and I'm not alright God... only you can change hearts. Help me to know what to do.....