Help Me....

Jude v.20-21 "But you, dear friends, build yourselves up in your most holy faith and pray in the Holy Spirit. Keep yourselves in God's love as you wait for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ to bring you to eternal life."

These are some difficult roads ahead for me to walk along. There are so many times where my mind just wants to give up. I'm tired and weary and I'm sick of it all. I wonder if my hope is just pointless. I cannot help but feel the depths of some of the hurts of my heart and its killing me to confront them. I hate the emotions that come out and the pain that exists. God, I wish you would just take it away from me. Its been a constantsy of pain that continues to exasberate my soul.

I remember reading the book by Henri Nouwen, "Wounded Healer" and I cannot help but to wonder if this is your plan for me. The woundedness of my heart is to become the authenticity that I speak from. If that is the case, help me to get through this with flying colors. I want to honor you and glorify you with the entirety of my life. Do not allow Satan to grab a foothold in my heart or my head. It seems so easy at times to want to give up and not to follow you. It seems so alluring to just walk away.

Help me remember that I am your child. Even if I walk away, your love has marked me as your own. I cannot run away from who I am, so help me to see the beauty of the life you have prepared for me. Help me to trust in your plan and to grow closer to you as I realize that you have all things in your hands. I am but the clay and you are the potter. The plans you have set before me, help me to continue to live them out faithfully with passion for your name. I do not want to live a mediocre life, but I want to glorify you with every cell in my body. I want to experience the fullness of your glory in me and through me and I want others to experience you with such intensity and depth.

God, I need you know, cast away these emotions, and center me on you, grant me a peace that transcends understanding and a trust that cannot be shaken.